Mr. Rogers: Destroyer of a Generation?

Okay, “Destroyer of a Generation” is harsh. But WSJ columnist Jeffrey Zaslow uses him as a great (and attention getting) starting point for discussing a serious question: WHY do so many young people, including the younger part of our current workforce, have such a huge sense of entitlement? — such a sense that they have a right to benefits, privileges, positions , and praise that they have not truly earned or worked hard for?

[This entry contains various links to Wall Street Journal articles and video, and as best I can tell they do not require subscriptions to access. But my apologies if I am wrong!]

It’s a topic that I have wanted to discuss since Zaslow’s excellent April 20, 2007 article: “The Most-Praised Generation Goes to Work” (which has been sitting in my floor waiting to be written about since that time). The entitlement sentiment amongst the young is not just an annoyance — it has real societal impact, as Zaslow says in that article:

“America’s praise fixation has economic, labor and social ramifications. Adults who were overpraised as children are apt to be narcissistic at work and in personal relationships, says Jean Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University. Narcissists aren’t good at basking in other people’s glory, which makes for problematic marriages and work relationships, she says.”

Later in the article, an excellent insight is made concerning the possible damage that raising self-focused children can do to their future marriages:

“But many young married people today, who grew up being told regularly that they were special, can end up distrusting compliments from their spouses. Judy Neary, a relationship therapist in Alexandria, Va., says it’s common for her clients to say things like: ‘I tell her she’s beautiful all the time, and she doesn’t believe it.’ Ms. Neary suspects: ‘There’s a lot of insecurity, with people wondering, “Is it really true?”‘”

I recall how the must-praise culture began to be a big part of where I worked with numerous mechanisms put in place to maximize recognition of others. In this light, one of the comments made in the article by Bob Nelson — popular counselor to companies on praise issues — particularly funny. Saying of those over 60 (like himself, apparently): “Yes, I get recognition every week. It’s called a paycheck.”

Mr. Nelson comments in the article about differences between the oldest generations, the Baby Boomers, and younger generations in terms of how dependent they are on praise. In particular, the comments he makes concerning the youngest generations are sobering (emphases mine):

“Workers under 40, he says, require far more stroking. They often like ‘trendy, name-brand merchandise’ as rewards, but they also want near-constant feedback. ‘It’s not enough to give praise only when they’re exceptional, because for years they’ve been getting praise just for showing up,’ he says.”

The article is a good read, but the one that has garnered recent attention is the recent offering in which Mr. Zaslow asks if Mr. Rogers is in any way to blame for this current state of affairs. You can read the article here: “Blame It on Mr. Rogers; Why Young Adults Feel So Entitled” — which, to be fair, doesn’t put as much burden squarely on the shoulders of Mr. Rogers as it might seem at first glance.

The result of the apparent outrage (Mr. Zaslow: “…slammed with e-mails from readers…”), is this follow up offering: “The Entitlement Epidemic: Who’s Really to Blame?” This one has a video embedded, as well, in which Mr. Zaslow discusses the situation with a 27-year-old (fellow columnist Amy Meehan) who is refreshingly frank about her generation’s sense of entitlement, how it came about, and some things that should be considered. (If you only want to see the video, you can click here, but you may have to watch a commercial first. I recommend checking out the article, itself, which has the video embedded there, commercial free.)

For the sake of being thorough, another reason I have wanted to write about this for some time was the excellent article sent to my by CM shortly after I read the WSJ piece (actually, sent a day earlier, but I do not think I read it until afterward). It can be read here: MeTube, MySpace and a Culture of Narcissism. Fantastic article.

All of this deserves more commentary than I have time to write. (Though I do plan to write something. Plans, always plans…) The scriptures that come to mind (and y’all will likely think of better ones) are these:

“But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves…”

2 Timothy 3:1-2

To be sure, all societies throughout history have contained individuals who are lovers of themselves. But has self-love ever been as institutionalized and ingrained as it seems to be today? Or has there ever been a culture of narcissism so pervasive as ours is? (That is, a culture that has survived?)


“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.”

Philippians 2:3

This is exactly the opposite of what we see encouraged in our youngest generations. As a former high school teacher, I can say that the motivation I was encouraged to use the most was, “Get a good education so that you can go out there and get a great job and make a lot of money!” and, with some wonderful exceptions, the generation I saw growing up in that school there showed exactly the attributes you would expect to be absorbed from such a culture (including some you may not think of at first). I’m not saying that that isn’t powerful motivation — it certainly is! But in place of (or at least not kept in check by) a stress on greater good and a healthy altruism, what are the long term effects?

I think we will see those effects in the years not too far ahead of us. Frankly, we are seeing those effects now.

11 thoughts on “Mr. Rogers: Destroyer of a Generation?

  1. Deano

    Hello Mr. Smith,

    Great commentary! As managing and training people is part of my job, I can attest that this is “DEFINITELY” a generation of those with a HUGE sense of entitlement.

    People get mad if they miss work for a week, or yell at their boss, or whatever it is and have to deal with consequences. It’s almost amazing. “I can do whatever I want! And if I get in any trouble you are an uncaring mean old meeeeeeeeany – wahhhhhhhh!!!”

    I tell them to write about it, and pray about it, and go call their sponsor … LOL. I learned a new one at a seminar too, it goes: “I’m sorry, I’m confused – I thought …. (fill in the blank)”

    MAN!!! What a rude awakening we are going to have before long.

    Thanks again, Deano

  2. Cheryl

    Great comment. I have wondered about this for a long time. I believe parents are to blame along with child psychologists. When parents give their children money, (i.e. an allowance ) when it is not earned, the child does not believe they themselves have to work for it. For the parent doesen’t want their child to be embarrassed in front of their friends when they go out. Or they don’t want their child to do without.

    Parents also give money or things to them when the parents feel guilty for not being there for them. Parents also use their children as a trophy, or to show them off, or have a “keep up with the Jones’ ” attitude. They don’t want to be the “bad” parent who didn’t love them. So they “buy” their love. Plus, you can’t tell them “NO!” because it is negative. It will make them feel bad. Now you can’t even use corporal punishment. You are to talk and reason.

    The child psychologist say’s if the child works for the money then you are bribing the child, thus not having a healthy self-esteem about themselves (well, I guess all of you who have a job must feel pretty lousy right now, and get this, you are all taking bribes.)

    So, now you have adults who think they are entitled, because, hey, mom and dad gave them everything, didn’t tell them no, and didn’t teach consequences for their actions.

    This verse comes to mind, especially verse 4 and 5:

    Isaiah 3:1-8 –

    1 For behold, the Lord, the Lord of hosts, Takes away from Jerusalem and from Judah The stock and the store, The whole supply of bread and the whole supply of water; 2 The mighty man and the man of war, The judge and the prophet, And the diviner and the elder; 3 The captain of fifty and the honorable man, The counselor and the skillful artisan, And the expert enchanter. 4 “I will give children to be their princes, And babes shall rule over them. 5 The people will be oppressed, Every one by another and every one by his neighbor; The child will be insolent toward the elder, And the base toward the honorable.” 6 When a man takes hold of his brother In the house of his father, saying, “You have clothing; You be our ruler, And let these ruins be under your power,” F3 7 In that day he will protest, saying, “I cannot cure your ills, For in my house is neither food nor clothing; Do not make me a ruler of the people.” 8 For Jerusalem stumbled, And Judah is fallen, Because their tongue and their doings Are against the Lord, To provoke the eyes of His glory.

    Just think, it is going to get worse before it gets better. We will have our work cut out for us when Christ returns. May God hasten that Great and Glorious Day!!!!!


  3. mike

    I always thought Mr. Rogers was a little bit creepy. Well I like to call this the “Wussification” of America. People love everyone to hold their hand and there is no personal accountablity, instead we blame it on “the man” and “the culture” .Yes disobedience of God’s laws causes all of the rotten fruit we see everyday. Look at Michael Vick for instance, He does something illegal now they’re talking about letting him go, and him being a spokesman against dog fighting because he came from a background that engraciated a particualr lifestyle which we can observe by watching MTV.

    I am a white guy who grew up and still live in the poorest section of town and witness the “culture” of which they spoke about. I have also seen how the whole economy is shuffling downward due to “the man” and the rich’s exploitaion not of just this nation and its people by mindless brainwashing its occupants into believing that Paris Hilton is more important than our men dying in foreign country, and how Lindsay Lohans drunk driving record trumps moral decline and education in this country; but also the entire world from turning a blind eye to human rights issues in Darfur for the sake of oil, and China poisoning itself to death due to improper use and exposure to chemicals used in maufacturing; to crave our narcissitic appetites of what “new” and “smooth” thing to come at us from this years catalog of worthlessness weekly.

    IT all start with a lack of education. Education is still the least funded in the nation, why is it we care more about roads that people? For it is written: “My people are dying for lack of knowledge” well it is true that is true cause of the “wussification” in America nobody teaching anyone anything, and worse yet those who do teach are classified as someone who doesnt need to be heard. Not only the lack of knowledge of the LORD which is the beginning of knowledge, but even useful knowledge, such as the skillful artisan it says….Well all of our labor is not contracted out to illegal immigrants who are now doing such a poor job at something and I have heard from many masons and carpenters of the “old era” having listened and watched with my own eyes them work my entire life and it is true them saying that even the brick work in old building in New cannot be match with todays standard those “skilled artisan” are no longer around because the unions that once supported them are undercut and over legislated by a repressive upper class to cut the bottom line for the sake of their own pocketbooks. “Come now you rich weep and howl for the miseries that are coming about you.Your riches have rotted and you garment have become moth-eaten.Your gold and silver have rusted, and their rust will be a witness against you , and will consume your flesh like fire. It is inn the Last days that you have stored up your treasure.Behold pay the laborers who mowed your fields, and which has been withheld by you, cry out against you, and the outcry of those who did the harvesting has reachedthe ears of the Lord of Saboath, You have lived luxuriously upon the Earth and led a life of wanton pleasure; you have fattened your hearts, in the day of Slaughter, You have condemned and put to death the innocent man he does not resist you.”

    Not to mention now it take two wage earners to even make it for most of the nation….Who is raising these children? some TV daycare with fifty other kids screaming about their incesant needs due to lack of attention, at day care, andd parents never seeing their children this cause them to spoil their children when they do see them because they’re not raising them. I have heard and seen this from people I know in the daycare industry. And even rebukes by the teachers at these institution in a good way leads to teachers getting fired. The parents say “not my billy” he woulnt so such an awful thing come here Billy let me make it all better for them saying bad things about you. The children are our rulers. Is it really their fault or arent they just a product of a wicked and perverse rulers and board rooms and stock holders wanting to squezze the last blood-soaked penny out of every person that they can. No one can honestly live on minimum wage right now just raised to 5.85 per hour that works out to about 12,000 a year?

    Why is this happening why are we now the tail and not the head? Because we have failed to listen to the Eternal’s warnings. We have lost our sea gates for the sake of globalization and the peace that was once subdued by a benevolant post WWII israelte nations is no more. Now we hold people and tourture them wrongfully some of them. just a the enemies in WWII and the reason we got ourselve in this position was due to the fact that we have our fingers in everyone elses affairs for our own greed. The real reason we installed governments in Iraq and Afganistan is one reason. Oil. The Caspian sea and the region to the east hold some of the world’s largest oil reserves left. The exporting and Globalization beast has consummed everything worth any real lasting value. Dont you know that those that love the world hate God.

    Why is it that “the daughters of Zion are haughty? go about mincing their feet as they go? Because every single value of what the human body which personifies God has been dragged through the gutters of reprobacy and comeout on the other side smelling like roses. Meaning We have let it go, but letting our children rule over us, and not turning to the Eternal. Which is why this culture engraciates every form and sadistic fettish the act of which God Himself deemed holy and sacred, in marriage, that of the act of sex. Which is the portrayal of the very process of Salvation, in Him and the first commandment with blessing,”and God blessed them saying ” Be fruitful and multiply..” Women walk around with basically bras on and everyone thinks its okay, no its not its ruining everyone they even pass by’s concept of God and His Great Purpose in us. That He himself like, we are to be reproducing; Himself after Our kind, as we are made after His kind and our’s the same.

    Look at our Judicial System. We have more inmates per capita than any other nation on the planet. Russia used to trump us in that department look what happen to them, before the communist fall. How come 9 people cannot count I dont know. IT is the duty of this particualr government to d othe will of the poeple which is not what God has in mind he is a King over a Kingdom, but here we see lawless abounding. We dont even enforce laws we have. And even judges being quote during trials ” I will not allow the law in my courtroom?” regaurding a tax law case I heard about, where is is actually illegal for this government to tax us on our income. and that the taxes we ddo pay go to fund the intrest merely on the national debt. so as to safegaurd the federal reserve system which is based on nothinglessness also, no stardards like gold or silver as we had before, much like this nation morals, no standards.

    We have developed a culture not of narccism only, but we have become a breeding brood of Hate. there is only so much influence Satan possess which is great, but after the need of greed is kindled, how great a fire does it make? After Satan just gets the twigs together we ourselves fuel the fire. Greedy makes needy. Since we share no love, no love will be shown to us, and because we show no mercy, no mercy will be shown no us. The engines of greed have fueled the demise of everyone at it starts by recognizing who is really at the TOP of the “food chain” so to speak.

    I love this country I mourn and cry for its demise of its people. If we as a nation repent and turn to God and give everything out of love…then shall our light break forth and our health shall spring forth speedilly, and our righteousness will go before us and God will be our rear gaurd. (Isa 58:8)

  4. Yeah, what she said! 😀

    STAR TREK has always been a morality play about contemporary conditions in our world. Were the series still running, one could readily imagine this joke-among-aliens being overheard at Deep Space Nine:

    Q: How many Humans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A. One. He puts the light bulb in its socket, and then waits for the rest of the universe to revolve around him.

  5. Craig

    Why does the younger generation (“Me Generation“) have such a huge sense of entitlement? Don’t blame Mr. Rogers. Blame the standards and example the older generation has set. For example, look no further than the current administration.

    The President makes sure the rest of the world understands that the only ones who really count in this world are those in the good-ol’ U.S. of A. And it is okay that he has taken more vacation days that any other President in history—it’s such a tough job being self-serving. The Congress only “worked“ ninety-seven days in 2006 while managing to vote themselves a raise! When is the last time they actually solved some major problem in society? Proactive—what’s that?

    We don’t demand accountability for results from our politicians nor our children. You cannot fail students anymore—they go on to the next grade regardless of results. Just showing up is all that matters—whether Capital Hill or school.

    The younger generation has learned well from the Woodstock generation. We have succeeded in producing a whole generation of self-serving Nabals who want to feast like a king (I Sam. 25:36). This article says it beautifully:


  6. So should “My LCG” change its name? Some people make it sound like anything with a “my” or a “you” in its name is simply wrong.

  7. mike

    I dont think it so much that me or my or you is a bad thing, its how the mind and attitude gets redirected into self intrest too far,and becomes inward too much to be of service to help to anyone BUT themselves. There is a balance.

    One cannot help another unless he himself prepares a means by which to do so. you cannot give that which you do not have, and you cannot help if you are blind also. As christ said first remove the beam from your own eye then see to take the mote out of your brothers.

    Self-examination is vital to Christian living. Brutal self-honesty is what its all about in the end of the day you only have to answer for one person- you. So even though the world may be filled with me and “myspace” and “you tube” how much good can it really do? maybe it helps others whom we and you know be guided through the valley of darkness we live in, in this decieved world.

    Maybe the connectedness of others makes us feel that we are not alone in the sufferings of this present age and helps build us God-ward if we are christian, and toward eachother if we are in the world. I believe the misguided social puzzle is a double egded sword in that the fruits seen by some of these sites are not apparent to most. But really do they do provide some respite in this convoluted age of wickedness?

    I believe they offer a vent for some to socialize and interact with others and as Paul says in Galtians 6 “Share your burdens with one another and so fulfill the law of Christ.” most of the people in these Myspaces and the sort, even this blog, get together to stablish a likemided realm in which they/we may flourish and produce some sort of fruit. The tragedy of this global age, is that the very thing man strives to overcome,(finding unity,belongedness) is given freely in Christ in the Gift of the Holy Spirit and unity of the Body.

    Each member serves a purpose each unique and reliant on the others just as the myspaces are connected through millions of miles of wire and fiberoptic and satellite relays so the world is trying to connect to itself in a unified manner. it is mankinds goal in its essence to be in unity.(look what happened with tha Big Tower we built,with wrong intentions) Nations have warred and people have dies maintaining unity whether tribal, national, or cultural. The common thread that should bind us together is and should be our own frailty.

    “Let the weakest members be most esteemed.”and again “giving honor to the least comely memebers.” and “when one rejoices let us all rejoice.” Mankinds attempts, I’ve seen by studying history, have been directed tragically to the same end as God , in unity, but without the same purpose ot intent. That intent is that of the Godly gift of giving of ourselves wholeheartedly to others without thought doubt or anger, jeoulsy, malice, or covetousness, but in Hope. Those gifts are gifts to be given not dug and put in the backyard like the guy with the hidden talent.

    The holy Spirit works on a return circuit. It must flow as it does. It is described as wind in many passages. The Spirit binds the body of Christ together, much like the internet does today with peoples of all nations. You may ask “whats your talent”? Well what is different about you that can help another gain perspective and focus?And eye is no good if it doesnt see. nor a hand if it does no work.

    God also doesnt want automatons either, God wants us to develop independantly yet dependant upon Him. One thing I had seen recently in my own life, is that God called me according to His purpose not mine. There is a also a mind/spirit that God put in to us that is unique to us and that adds to the character of God-family when we are changed. The very individuality that we have is that gift, as long as we dont use it as a liscense for lascivousness, but rather according to His purpose, not our. and that perfect will God is anything that promotes Growth and entrance in to the family. Think of a gardener garden His whole purpose of His Garden is to make good fruit,”how much more will he give and take care of us being a good husbandman?”

    There is a part of us that God wants to keep, becasue it is that very gift and fruit he wants us to bear, when He grafted us into His vine. See how there are many different types of plants can be grafted together, each to the same vine but producing different fruits. It is when the concentration on the development of these fruits becomes too self serving that we begin to choke ourselves off from the source like much of the world does unknowingly to their own demise.

    God is building a family, think about yours, are all of you the same in the way in which you are in character. As a family might be motivated in the same direction in the world, to pay bills or harvest the farm, so shall it be in the heavens. ” To the increase of His Government there will be no end.” it says in Isaiah. We shouldnt be too quick to shun everything that makes us who we are in God, because the world as it seeks to individualization will be a good thing with the diverse gifts we all will have when the family truely reunited in the Last great Day and onward to eternity. What could some of these people whom deveolp worldy talents do with Holy Spirit and Direction of God the Father? Imagine the proliferation, and “the rejoicing of the creation earnestly awaiting the revealing of the sons of God.”

    Its when these “myspace” and “youtube’s” become your life that is the problem. some people spend their time devoted to many different things. Christ said where your heart is where your treasure is. What we should be asking is, where is our treasure, and who’s helping us find it? We all as christians must help eachother through this time, by encouraging one another. so many do with the myspace some to destruction and some to promotion. Everything can be used for Good and evil, that is the lot we chose when we ate of it and what a fruit we chose to eat, to decide for ourselves what is right and wrong. Without God its impossible to find the way to Life.

  8. Pete J

    Mr. Rogers Neighborhood began airing in 1968 it is therefor an invalid argument that he only influenced the “younger generation” it would be more accurate to say he influenced everyone born after 1961 (a person born in 1960 would be 7 when it first aired). A 5 year old who watched the show when it was new would now be 45. Does 45 years old constitute “the younger generation”? No it does not therefor the article written by Don Chance is nothing more than opinionated slander.

    Mr. Rogers was a great man. He talked to the senate and saved PBS and educational programing from bankruptcy, and got them the money they needed to continue.

    You can watch his speech to the senate here:

    It is nothing more than slander to claim someone so dedicated to education could have destroyed a generation. It is also very disrespectful, Mr Rogers has not even been dead for more than 4 years.

    How dare Don Chance make such a harsh claim.

  9. Howdy, Pete J —

    I think you need to step back a bit.

    For one, your idea that Mr. Rogers began his show in 1968 and therefore he (or, more accurately, approaches such as his) could not be the influence on the “younger generation” that is under discussion is faulty reasoning. The WSJ article mentions the level of narcissism that has been steadily increasing in college students for the last *25 years* which easily puts it in the same range as the show. Your hypothetical 45-year-old, first generation viewer would have been in college around, you guessed it, the beginning of that 25 year trend. Rather than invalidate the claim, you actually add a thought that helps to support it. In fact, it would only make sense that as the show (and approach) gained popularity and influence that the results would be seen on larger and larger scales.

    The step back that you need to take is one that may provide perspective. As Zaslow explains in both of his articles (and I hope you read them both), Mr. Rogers is used here as an enduring symbol of an approach to children and child rearing. The comments are not an attack on a man as much as they are an attack on an approach. If that approach began to gain prominence with the advent of (and possibly influenced by) Mr. Rogers’ show, it becomes all the more appropriate to use him as a symbol for the approach in general.

    It is not wrong to criticize someone for some of the fruit that has been produced by their approach, even if they were good, selfless, hardworking, loving people. Just because Mr. Rogers was, as the articles I linked to explain, a positive influence and an encourager of hard work and mutual respect — noble attributes, to be sure, and characteristics to be admired — is every facet of his work and approach to be unexamined and accepted without thought? Just because he had positive results in some areas of his work, are we not to acknowledge the possibility that he may have had negative results in some others?

    While Dr. Chance or Mr. Zaslow may have used some strong words as attention getters to their very worthy ideas, there is nothing wrong with their asking us to consider some very worthwhile correlations and possible connections — and it certainly isn’t “nothing more than opinionated slander.”

    Thanks for writing, Pete J, and I hope you will reconsider your opinion.

  10. Pete J

    To tell the truth I was just trying to debunk this due to my respect of Fred Rogers.

    I honestly think though if you weighed the good and bad influences (he may or may not of had) you would find that the good outweighs the bad.

    It is important to let the children know (or at least think) they are special and an individual. It is essential for a productive member of society to respect and believe in themselves. The first step in being successful is to think you can be, the second step is to do it. If you can’t believe in yourself you will never try.

    Nowadays TV for the most part teaches kids to be like everyone else. TV makes some people/kids feel that they are not attractive as someone else, or not as “cool”. Television to a growing child really does set a standard of how they should think dress and act in society.

    I leave you with these lyrics to a song often sung on the Neighborhood. I feel this song tells children to not expect something for doing nothing, and to try until they see it through.

    “You’ve Got To Do It” 1969 Fred Rogers

    You can make believe it happens, Or pretend that somethings true. You can wish or hope or contemplate
    A thing you’d like to do. But until you start to do it,
    You will never see it through. ‘Cause the make-believe pretending Just won’t do it for you

    You’ve got to do it. Every little bit
    You’ve got to do it, do it, do it, do it
    And when you’re through, You can know who did,
    For you did it, you did it, you did it.

    If you want to ride a bicycle And ride it straight and tall.
    You can’t simply sit and look at it “Cause it won’t move at all. But it’s you who have to try it. And it’s you who have to fall (sometimes) If you want to ride a bicycle
    And ride it straight and tall.

    You’ve got to do it. Every little bit
    You’ve got to do it, do it, do it, do it
    And when you’re through, You can know who did,
    For you did it, you did it, you did it.

  11. Howdy, again, Pete J, and thanks for writing further.

    I like the song — frankly, I could use an mp3 of that to listen to on occasion!

    I’m certainly not one to evaluate the net result, good or bad, though I think you make a good case. Songs like the one you gave above encourage a real industriousness which is sadly lacking amongst many today. And the need to counter the wrong priorities and values thrust at children today is certainly vital.

    I do think there is a difference between teaching someone that there is an intrinsic element to their self-worth and teaching someone that they should be praised regardless of what they have done. There is a difference between teaching someone to appreciate well-earned praise and teaching them (however accidentally) to depend on it, earned or not.

    That Mr. Rogers was a remarkable man is evident in many ways. And that he loved children is evident as well. Even if time *does* show that the “you’re special” approach has done more harm than good and has conributed to a rise in narcissism, that doesn’t take away from other things he did which were good and helpful — just as our own failures should not take away from our successes. No human being has yet walked the earth who is so flawless in his approach to something that it cannot be improved upon (well, except for One!). And if much can be learned from Mr. Rogers’ success, surely much can be learned from any mistakes he may have made, as well.

    In the mean time, I’m going to see if I can track down an audio recording of the song you passed on! 🙂

    Thanks again for writing, Pete J!

    Best regards,
    Wallace Smith

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